When a doctor knows a case is headed for court, his notes transform from “Let’s get you better, friend!” to “Let’s cover my license!” He suddenly remembers every detail if he believes he could be called to testify.
If it’s you versus the insurance company in court, a lot of doctors are not risking their career, no matter how cute you are.
Here are some ways your friendly provider can quickly turn into a courtroom snake:
1- “Patient arrives accompanied by legal counsel.” 👩⚖️
Translation: Your provider immediately upgrades your chart to High Maintenance. Suddenly, everyone is on their best (or worst) behavior.
2- “Reports pain as 8/10, but ambulates independently.” 💃
Translation: She says it hurts, but I just watched her TikTok-dance to the bathroom.
3- “Patient’s subjective complaints exceed objective findings.” 🤷🏻♂️
Translation: He’s saying a lot, but the MRI doesn’t back it up; let the defense have a field day.
4- “Patient appears well-nourished, no acute distress.” 💄
Translation: She just walked in wearing a bodycon dress, lashes and lip gloss, so let’s note that she doesn’t look that hurt.
5- “Discussed return to work; patient advised of activity restrictions.” 🤕
Translation: She can’t go back to the gym, but I’m going to act like she’s faking being tired.
6- “Patient requests medication refill. Declined.” 💊
Translation: I’m not about to be on the news for handing out pain meds to a personal injury client.
7- “History provided by patient may not be entirely reliable.” 🧐
Translation: I don’t really trust his story, so let’s put it all in writing and cover my rear.
8- “Consulted with attorney regarding documentation.” 💼
Translation: Your lawyer called, and I’m making sure the world knows about it. I probably spelled his name wrong, too. Oh, well.
Pro Tip:
How do you keep your doctor on your side? Always be clear, polite and accurate about your symptoms. Request written summaries for anything major like injections or surgeries, even recommendations. And if you see anything negative in your records, immediately ask questions. Don’t wait until deposition day to grow a backbone.