The 5 Stages of Grief When Your Lawyer Sends a Thumbs-Up Emoji 👍

They say grief has five stages. Turns out, so does getting ghosted by your lawyer, with a single emoji. If you’ve ever poured your soul into a long email and gotten back a lonely thumbs-up, this one’s for you.

The 5 Stages of Grief

Stage 1: Denial 📱

He probably hit it by accident. He was likely in court, his hands were full of thick legal files, and his thumb slipped. Or he was driving and he didn’t want to crash his car. I mean, it’s a $90,000 car with Napa leather, can you blame him? He probably meant to say more. Surely, he’s typing a real update now. Any second… the three dots will appear. Ok, maybe he’s planning to call me later. There’s no way my 4-paragraph update about my medical records is getting shrugged off with just a yellow thumb. Right?

Stage 2: Anger 😡

What in the… I just sent a 400-word email detailing my medical trauma and the fact that my rental car smells like old cheese, and I get a pixelated yellow thumb? I am paying for “Counsel” and I’m getting “Facebook Grandpa” energy! Hey Siri, is a thumbs-up a professional response? 

Stage 3: Bargaining 🤝

Maybe a thumbs-up means we won? Maybe in lawyer-speak, a 👍 means the insurance company folded and they’re writing a check for $500,000 right now. If I don’t reply, maybe he’ll realize he forgot the rest of the sentence. How do you even respond to a thumb?

Stage 4: Depression 😔

I knew it. I am just a file number. To him, my life-altering neck injury is just another “read” message in a sea of litigation. He probably signed a new car accident case today and that’s his new golden child. It’s not my fault I don’t drive like a tourist or I’m not lucky enough to be in a semi-truck jackknifing collision. I’m not special at all. 

Stage 5: Acceptance ✅

This is just who he is. There’s a hierarchy. He’s up there and I’m down here. I’m just another client and he’s the “Rainmaker” because he’s too busy winning cases to use vowels. I will accept the thumb. I will cherish the thumb. The thumb is my new legal counsel. I’m being represented by an emoji. Alexa, play “Rolling in the Deep.”

Pro Tip:

A thumbs-up is the legal world’s version of “k, thx.” But remember: a single emoji is still better than “Please see attached.” Especially when there isn’t anything attached.