Insurance adjusters come in many flavors, but none of them are actually sweet. Here’s who you’ll meet, and how they’ll try to break you before you even see a check.
1- The “Best Friend” Adjuster 🤗
She sounds like your long-lost sister. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry you’re hurt! I just want to help you get back on your feet.” She’ll chat about her kids, her chiropractor, and maybe even your horoscope. But she’s taking notes, and the only thing she wants to “manifest” is you settling for $500 and going away.
2- The Wannabe Attorney 🧐
Suddenly you’re being cross-examined. He drops phrases like “contributory negligence,” quotes statutes, and requests deposition-level documentation. You can hear his paralegal soul dying as he asks, “Did you happen to get a police report… and, uh, your birth certificate?” He’d file a motion to dismiss you if he could.
3- The Dead-Eyed Robot 🤖
There are no jokes, no chitchat, and no humanity over here. Every call feels like the time you tried to disconnect your cable service and the company wouldn’t let you go.
4- The Gaslighter 😇
You say you’re in pain, and she responds, “Are you sure it wasn’t like this before the accident? Our records show you missed a dental appointment in 2017, so….” By the end of the call, you’re apologizing for being rear-ended and wondering if you imagined your injuries.
5- The Ghost 👻
Everything starts friendly, maybe even urgent. Then he disappears. He won’t answer emails, voicemails, or certified mail. But don’t worry, the day your attorney files a lawsuit, he’ll reappear, acting shocked, “Oh! I was just about to call you.”
Pro Tip:
If your adjuster calls you “hon,” keeps referring to your claim number, or suddenly asks you to repeat details “just for the record,” don’t get cozy. Get everything in writing, and remember they’re not here to help you.