If you’ve ever felt like your attorney was running the show, you’re not alone. Too many lawyers act like every client is just a number, or worse, a background character in their own never-ending legal drama. But let’s get one thing straight: you are the client, and your boundaries matter.
After living through my own wild ride, I learned the hard way that setting ground rules isn’t just self-care, it’s survival. Whether you’re new to the legal system or in litigation hell, these 10 boundaries will save your sanity, protect your case, and keep you from becoming someone else’s cautionary tale.
1. “Texting is for emergencies or scheduling only.” 📱
If your attorney starts sending you texts at 9:30 pm, it feels personal… because it is. Make it clear: all substantive legal questions and updates belong in email, where there’s a record. You’re not here to be someone’s casual chat buddy and they are not your after-hours therapist.
2. “Don’t loop in your spouse, child, or golden retriever.” 🐶
This should go without saying, but you would be surprised. The only people allowed on your confidential case communications are you, your attorney, and maybe their actual legal staff. If anyone else chimes in, that’s a privacy breach, not a quirky family practice.
3. “My medical and financial information stays private.” 📁
There’s no reason for your lawyer’s assistant to chat with your doctor’s office about your symptoms, your insurance, or why you missed an appointment. You choose who gets access to your private details, not your attorney’s paralegal “bestie.”
4. “Explain, don’t gaslight.” 😒
You have the right to ask for status updates, insurance details, or a copy of your file without getting the, “Are you questioning my expertise?” attitude. If your lawyer gets defensive or vague, that’s not mentorship, that’s stonewalling. They are definitely hiding something, I don’t care what they’re telling you.
5. “No disappearing acts.” 👻
Set a standard for communication: “I expect a response within X days unless you’re in trial or dead.” Ghosting is not an acceptable strategy, no matter how many “urgent” cases they’re juggling.
6. “No improvising on deadlines.” ⏳
You want to know when something is due, when your hearing is being held, and when your file will be ready. If they can’t provide a clear timeline (or keep changing it), that’s their issue, not yours. Your time is valuable, too.
7. “Stop calling me just to reassure yourself.” 😅
If every phone call feels like you’re being managed instead of supported, take note. You’re not here to calm their nerves about how you’ll rate them online. Your lawyer is not entitled to emotional labor from you.
8. “Transparency isn’t optional.” ✍️
If you’re told, “We can’t put that in writing,” ask why. If you get a different answer every time you ask about your settlement or insurance coverage, something’s up. Consistent answers are a baseline, not a bonus.
9. “I’m allowed to seek a second opinion.” 👩💼
Any lawyer who tries to guilt, shame, or threaten you for talking to another attorney (or for going over their head when something feels wrong) has boundary issues. You are not “locked in.” This is not a marriage. You are not required to remain monogamous.
10. “No using my trauma for your Google Review.” 🛜
You don’t have to gush about your lawyer online, especially if your experience was mixed, complicated, or even traumatic. Reviews are earned, not extorted. If they ever try to script or coach your review, that’s a red flag the size of a disbarment hearing.
Pro Tip:
A good attorney welcomes healthy boundaries. A problematic one sees them as a threat. If your intuition says you’re slipping from “client” into “crisis manager” or “friend with conditions,” listen to it. You don’t have to play along. You’re the client, not a character in their workplace drama.