Because silence, softness, and smiles can be strategic too.
At first, you trusted them. Maybe you even enjoyed them. But somewhere along the way, things shifted. Their tone got vague, their words got tighter. And your intuition started whispering: somethingâs not right.
If youâve been wondering whether your lawyer is really on your side, here are the signs it may be time to stop wondering and start documenting.
1. They Seem More Loyal to the Other Side đȘ
If your attorney lights up when defense counsel walks in but barely looks up for you, pay attention. Thereâs a difference between civility and allegiance. If they seem more worried about âburning bridgesâ with opposing counsel than fighting for your best outcome, thatâs not neutrality, thatâs alignment.
2. Your Pain Keeps Getting Minimized đ«€
If you mention a flare-up, and they respond with, âWell, itâs been a few months, right?â Run. Quickly. And donât look back, no matter what they say. A lawyer who shrinks your symptoms is one step away from shrinking your payout. Whether itâs strategic or subconscious, this soft undermining is how valid claims start to erode. (For me, this was the beginning of the end.)
3. They Mirror the Insurance Companyâs Talking Points đȘ
If your lawyer starts echoing the adjusterâs language: âThey just need more timeâ or âIt was probably a paperwork mix-up,â youâre being handled, not represented. Advocacy isnât about smoothing things over. Itâs about calling things what they are.
4. They Start Blaming You for Their Mistakes đ
One of the clearest signs trust is gone? Gaslighting. You mention a missing form or follow-up they forgot, and suddenly youâre the problem. âYou never told me that.â âYou shouldâve followed up.â Or my personal favorite: âI didnât know you were looking for it.â Youâre paying your attorney to keep track, not to rewrite history.
5. Their Updates Feel Like Excuses â°
Vague promises like âWeâre working on itâ or âTrust me, itâs movingâ without details, timelines, or receipts? Thatâs not strategy, thatâs stalling. If weeks go by without specifics, assume thereâs a reason. And itâs not in your favor.
6. They Get Defensive When You Ask Questions đ€
If asking for clarity makes your attorney shut down, get irritated, or start spinning legal jargon to confuse you, thatâs not professionalism: itâs power imbalance. A trustworthy lawyer welcomes your curiosity. A corrupt one is banking on your silence. And if you wonât stay silent, they will make you wish you had.
7. They Downplay the Value of Your Case đ
If you once heard phrases like âstrong claimâ or âpotential six figures,â and now youâre getting lines like âOh I donât remember telling you what the case value is,â be wary. Defense teams love when plaintiff attorneys shift the goalposts. Sometimes itâs fatigue. Sometimes itâs fear. Either way, you deserve better.
8. They Never Defend You đ€·đ»ââïž
About anything, or against anyone, ever. Itâs especially alarming if they continue to happily speak to you on a consistent basis about mundane things, but when it is time to discuss anything surrounding your case they become frigid and will not advocate for you. An attorney who will not defend you against random people or their incompetent subordinates will never defend you against a massive insurance company and their attorneys.
Pro Tip:
The first betrayal usually sounds like reassurance. Document everything. And if your attorney starts protecting their reputation more than your rights, itâs time to find new counsel no matter how âniceâ they appear to be.